Tonight, I wanted to share a sweet little snippet of Piper singing with me as she played tonight.
It’s almost impossible to wrap my head around where she is today compared to six months ago. As I sit here, I can vividly recall a very dark and emotionally raw moment, in which I held my crying child, trying to soothe her at bedtime. In that moment, her little body shook with frustration; her tears spilled onto my shoulder, seemingly burning me to the core. She was just coming out of her most monumental meltdown, the result of simply being unable to communicate to me that her sippy cup was broken, and she was unable to drink. The problem of the moment had finally been solved, but that night came a realization that hit me like a ton of bricks. As her eyes finally closed for sleep, my eyes were opened to the fact that Piper had true challenges…challenges I had no clue how to help her overcome on my own.
As she settled into sleep, I said to her, out loud, “Baby, I just want to make it better, and I don’t know how. I am so sorry I can’t fix this for you. There is nothing I want more than to hear your little voice and to talk to you. But if you can never talk to me with words, sweetheart, I want you to know it’s okay. I could never love you less. I am your Mommy, and I will give everything I have to help you through this, words or no words. I love you exactly how you are. I hope you always know this”.
I would swear that with those words, her little body relaxed, and her whimpering was immediately replaced with soft snores. But for a minute, try to imagine the raw emotion of a mother, resigned to the fact that she might never talk with her child. My heart shattered that night, but that low was what it took me to finally reach out for help.
Fast forward to tonight. She’s singing with me! On the outside, you might see her as distracted…but I encourage you to look again and see what I see- a little girl whose brain has developed so much that she can carry on song, while jumping and playing. To me, it’s nothing short of a miracle.
I made a wish on my darkest of nights…I wished to hear the voice of my little girl… For a way to get through to her. That wish has been granted, and this song, our bedtime song, is one of the greatest gifts I’ve received to date.
Here is the link, for anyone who wants to share in this moment!